Reflecting on Time Off

The last week has been a departure for me. Instead of working and concentrating on my numerous pursuits, I spent most of my time sleeping and relearning how to eat again. The rough moments felt mighty low. Fortunately, they did not last long. Many people have difficulty being alone, and I am no exception. I prefer focusing on things I can control. When your body is recovering from major surgery, you must depend on a team of doctors, nurses, hospital staff, and family members to help you get through the days. This vulnerability and dependency are new to me, and I consider it as I return to work. 

As a society, we train professionals and business people to be suspicious and skeptical of others. People are always looking for a better deal and an advantage over others. It hurts trust, which is the central lubricant of the business world. Without trust, the gears of the global economy would grind to a halt. Work is also so extensive and complex that hundreds of skilled professionals must work on systems to make a change or come up with innovations. Combining this reality with office politics, egos, and incompetence and creating things in the global economy feels like a torturous death march. The author Lewis Carol said, “That between light and darkness lies the shadow.” It is clear to me that I have made my living within this shadow realm. 

As an agile coach and leader, it has made me reaccess how I look at this shadowy realm of dysfunction and frustration. First, I cannot change things that are outside my control. I can control my emotions and guide my teams to do the right things, but if the organization does not want to change, I cannot force it. Next, if the recent layoffs in the tech industry prove anything, work is a place to make a living instead of being a surrogate for a family. If I die, it is clear that my family will mourn my death and lower me into the ground. A company will post a job opening the next day. I will bring a sense of craft and professionalism to my job but will never become emotionally reinvested again. Experience has also shown me the people you can trust and depend on are rare. When you find those people, it is your responsibility to cultivate and empower them so you can do your job better.

This kind of understanding comes with experience and plenty of failures, but it guides me forward. Being an agile professional means dealing with the world as it is and aspiring to make it better. Sometimes, I question my dedication and commitment to those goals. In my small way, I have made the world better, so I carry on. It is ambitious to change the world a bit at a time. Hopefully, my legacy will alter the future for the better. 

Until next time.