When you lose a bet on your career.

Boy, did I fail.

It has been a crazy week.  I made the transition from working on a gigantic waterfall project to unemployment in the span of an afternoon.  I was feeling a flurry of emotions.  At first, I was ashamed and disappointed.  My feelings then migrated to anger and bitterness at how cheaply was thrown aside.  Currently, I am feeling determination and resolve to get back to work.  Through all this process, I have been overwhelmed by well wishes and support from the agile community.  It is this support which is keeping me going during this difficult time.

I joked glibly; I was betting my career that the project I was on could benefit from my agile knowledge and approach.  In less than seven business days, I was rolled off the project and laid off.  I did not receive any feedback from peers; I was just marched into the HR office and let go.  I should be angry and bitter, but that is not going to help me get back to work.  Fortunately, my colleagues on social media and #Slack came forward.  I received comfort, coaching, and support.  I also took some time to think.

It is not comfortable looking at failure.  It is necessary if I am going to grow and develop as a person.  It is one of the main postulates of agile is, “…to fail early and often.” In that respect, I was successful.  I failed, and now I have to take that failure and learn from it.  I am going to do a better job vetting employers to make sure they want the agilest working on their staff.  I am going to change the notifications on my mobile phone, so I am not distracted during the workday, and I can concentrate better.  Finally, I am going to focus more intensely on Radical Candor and Non-Violent Communication.

I have plenty of free time, and so I am going to use this opportunity to decompress and spend with family and friends.  I will live through this and would not be this brave without the help and support of everyone around me.

Until next time.