 |
| Avoid Judgement and Try Curiosity |
Leading others is never easy. It takes emotional maturity, wisdom, and credibility with the people you serve. It is easy to be judgmental. You can treat people doing the work like inanimate objects to be used up and thrown away. In truth, if you are attempting to innovate in a global economy, a leader needs a different set of skills.
A common phrase in all types of coaching is to approach others with curiosity instead of judgment. It feels counter-intuitive. Suppose you see someone who is always late or who fails to deliver results to clients. It is natural to pass judgment on these people. We might discipline them for delinquent behavior or give them different responsibilities because of their lack of performance. It is a natural reaction to conduct in the workplace.
As a leader, we often think of our business as a machine and the people who work in it as easily replaceable. The reality is the people who work in your industry are messy and imperfect. People have families, romantic partners, and aspirations. The employees get sick, have parent-teacher conferences, and deal with traffic and congestion.
As a servant leader, you are working with people, and you serve them. It means trying to understand them rather than trying to fix them. It is why most coaching emphasizes curiosity rather than judgment. To understand someone, you need to be genuinely curious about them as a human being. Your tardy employee may just need a later start time. The underperforming one might need more training or guidance. You will not know the answer to what action you will need to take until you understand why a person is acting the way they are.
I struggled with this concept for years as a scrum master before I internalized it. With judgment, I often got into conflict with members of my team because they were not doing their job or resistant to change. I could have saved myself plenty of grief if I approached those situations with curiosity.
Change is often scary, and when money, position, and power are involved, people become defensive. A coach approaching the situation from curiosity will understand those dynamics and work with defensive people. Underperforming people are scared of being found out because it might cost them their jobs. Finding out why they are underperforming might expose them to training and development, which will help them improve.
Coaching from a curiosity approach is not unicorns and rainbows. It means creating situations where people feel safe to discuss their messy lives. It is hours of listening. It will require money for training and development. Despite all this time and energy, a person may not meet expectations. Numerous disappointments will proceed victories. It is hard work and a bit of a slog. However, treating the people you serve with curiosity will yield more loyalty to you and the firm over time. The performance will improve.
It is not an easy lesson to learn, but if you withhold judgment and approach people from a position of curiosity, you will be a better leader.
Until next time.
